http://www.lifesfair.com/index.cfm Negative Quotes from Web Sources Compiled by LifesFair.com Tue, 21 May 2013 01:03:31 GMT A Lannister always pays her debts. - Context: Lena Headey Broke? 'Game Of Thrones' Star Claims To Have Less Than $5 In Her Bank Account ...almost all the great athletes in any sport were singularly driven individuals who didn't play well with others. - Context: Michael Jordan at 50: A celebration of ruthlessness To beef or not to beef... that is equestrian. - Context: Burger King UK admits to horse meat in burgers We have to get a night nurse or we're going to get a divorce because someone's got to sleep in this house or we're going to kill each other. - Context: Megan Fox says raising new son with husband too hard, hires a nurse I want to know who was the first person who said out loud, 'Hey guys, you know what would make us even more cool? If we played with the new guy's butt'. - Context: Maine West High School Sued For Student Hazing, Sodomy 'Sanctioned By Coaches' Even without Hostess, there will always be plenty of Ding Dongs in this country... - Context: Hostess Brands Inc. said Friday it filed a motion with U.S. Bankruptcy Court to close its business and sell its assets after a strike by its workers. She's just passionate about politics. - Context: Woman runs over spouse for Obama re-election Bottoms up! - Context: Tennessee fraternity suspended after alcohol enemas Facebook’s opening day on the NASDAQ had all the excitement of a Matlock rerun. - Context: After all the hullabaloo about Facebook’s IPO, this is how it ends, with a mere $0.23 jump in share price? Great. Now I have 8 GB in Dropbox, 5 GB in GDrive, 25 GB in Skydrive, and now 20 GB in Amazon Cloud. I HAZ TOO MUCH CLOUD STORAGE! - Context: Amazon launches Cloud Drive desktop app for Mac, Windows This company continues to show up to the party after all the the ice is gone, the beer is warm, the ashtrays are all full, and the women are all taken. Go back to sleep Microsoft. - Context: The news is that Microsoft will invest $300 million in Barnes & Noble. This is a very low risk way for the software giant to break into eBook readers. We can barely extract drinking water from our salty seas on Earth, but these guys are going to suck it out of an asteroid tumbling through space and turn it into breathable air and rocket fuel? - Context: In response to Planetary Resources's plans to mine rare metals from asteroids. When your signature dish is hamburger in between a doughnut, and you've been cheerfully selling this stuff knowing all along that you've got Type 2 Diabetes... It's in bad taste if nothing else. - Context: Anthony Bourdain on Paula Deen announcing that she has Diabetes and landing a multimillion-dollar deal to endorse a diabetes drug. Gaining traction for Microsoft has been like driving a pickup truck through a Wisconsin winter on bald tires. - Context: Robert Weinstein's analysis of tech stocks in 2011 including Google, Yahoo and Microsoft. I overcame my Tiger Mother in my book called Tiger Mother: Son of a Bitch. She was worse than Amy Chua. - Context: NEED TO KNOW | 'Tiger Mom' Amy Chua responds to uproar | PBS So what this really means is that two hot chicks from Santa Barbara are now available. - Context: Missing ATVers found dead in Mojave Desert I give up - my Japanese sex doll is on the way!! Geez.... I hope she likes me. - Context: For the first time in history, women are better educated, more ambitious and arguably more successful than men. Andy Rooney is the first Internet troll. - Context: One of Andy Rooney's 60 Minutes segments comparing his old typewriter to the several computers he's owned. What is this world coming to when a man can't go in and take a leisurely dump, without scrambling F-16 Chimichanga pilots to interrupt him? - Context: Flight on 9/11 anniversary ends in handcuffs for housewife Hide yours kids, hides your wife! Google just might buy them and take them away! - Context: Google has placed one of its biggest bets on location to date, acquiring local reviews giant Zagat. I keep some people's numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. - Context: via Twitter Life's Fair, when #Netflix raises their rates, but you realize there really isn't a great alternative. - Context: via Twitter That depressing moment, When you’re looking forward to coming home and eating something, And come home to find out it’s been eaten. - Context: via Twitter Dodgers fans just like the Dodger players always dropping the balls - Context: DAD DROPS DAUGHTER AT DODGERS GAME The next innovation Dyson needs to make is manufacturing something that doesn’t cost $500 - Context: Dyson Air Multiplier fan 15 second ad.mov Last paragraph says the GPS is a tool. I'm kinda wondering if maybe the driver was too... - Context: Three Seattle visitors following GPS directions drove their rented Mercedes SUV into Mercer Slough early Wednesday morning. You're as slutty as a bowling ball, you get picked up, fingered, thrown down an alley and still come back for more. - Context: via Twitter You can't face the problem if the problem is your face. - Context: via Twitter It seems to me that the harder I try the harder I fall. - Context: via Twitter Maria just terminated the terminator and for good reason! - Context: Former California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger has admitted having an affair and fathering a son with a member of his household staff more than 10 years ago. So, Demi Moore will return Ashton Kutcher back to his parents? - Context: Moore, Kutcher: Join CNN's crusade to end child sex trafficking. Facebook asks what I’m thinking. Twitter asks what I’m doing. Foursquare asks where I am. The internet has turned into a crazy girlfriend. - Context: via Twitter 'Knut was subjected to enormous stress, not just by the media hype and public scrutiny, but also by the fact that he was kept in an enclosure with three females...' Poor Knut. I assume the stress living with 3 females was too much stress. Read m - Context: The cuddly cub Knut, dubbed Cute Knut, captured people's hearts after his birth at the Berlin Zoo in December 2006. So it's no wonder that his sudden death on Saturday, at the tender age of 4, has sent a nation into mourning. we are SOOOOOO fucked - Context: (YouTube) - Real Transformer 1 Million dumb people stop watching because they don't get it. - Context: (YouTube) - How to solve a Rubik's Cube (Part One) Cock blocker - Context: (YouTube) - Franklin Nash at CSU Proper Bull Collection 131 People shit their pants. - Context: (YouTube) - 747 Landing - St.Maarten If it wasn't for my wife reminding me of my password, I'd never be able to get my own email. - Context: Detroit, Michigan, computer technician Leon Walker faces a jury trial in February for allegedly hacking into his then-wife's e-mail account. I would not want to be seen dead with THAT handbag either. - Context: Ginger Littleton took about 30 seconds to decide she was going to use her hand-me-down purse to try to knock a gun out of the hands of the man threatening her colleagues on Tuesday. I think we should smash his knees with hammers. - Context: Carroll was out of bounds and trying to run back in the field of play when Alosi leaned his left knee forward. The knee caught Carroll, who tumbled to the ground.