| Book Quote |
I'm grateful to be in an adult relationship because I always figured, 'Oh, I'll just have sex with a bunch of guys and have my career.'
Chelsea Handler | Similar | Like or Don't Like?
  Share Quote... |
| Book Quote |
If you took naked pictures of yourself on your cell phone, you hide your face, people.
Reese Witherspoon | Similar | Like or Don't Like?
Share Quote... |
| Book Quote |
I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know.
Mel Brooks | Similar | Like or Don't Like?
Share Quote... |
| Book Quote |
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
George Carlin | Similar | Like or Don't Like?
Share Quote... |
| Book Quote |
If you are going to tell people the truth, be funny or they will kill you.
Billy Wilder | Similar | Like or Don't Like?
Share Quote... |
| Book Quote |
There are two insults no human being will endure: that he has no sense of humor, and that he has never known trouble.
Sinclair Lewis | Similar | Like or Don't Like?
Share Quote... |
| TV Show Quote |
Watchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?
Diff'rent Strokes
Arnold Jackson (Gary Coleman)
Similar | 0% Like | Like or Don't Like?
Should this be Half Empty?
Share Quote... |
| Fortune Cookie |
You laugh now. Wait until you get home.
Similar | Like or Don't Like?
Share Quote... |
| Movie Quote |
Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!!
Animal House
John Bluto Blutarsky (John Belushi)
Similar | Like or Don't Like?
Share Quote... |
| Movie Quote |
Short people have long faces, and long people have short faces. Big people have little humor, and little people have no humor at all.
Singin' in the Rain (1952)
Cosmo Brown (Donald O' Connor)
Similar | Like or Don't Like?
Share Quote... |
| Book Quote |
You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.
unknown | Similar | Like or Don't Like?
Share Quote... |
| Book Quote |
I hate pretty women! God only needed to make them just attractive enough to men so that our species would continue. Any more beauty than that is overkill, literally. How many men have died or done stupid things because a woman was too damn beautiful
Lance W Michael | Similar | Like or Don't Like?
Share Quote... |
| Book Quote |
They shouldn't even call it insurance; they just should call it "in case shit" - I give a company some money in case shit happens. Now, if shit don't happen, shouldn't I get my money back?
Chris Rock | Similar | Like or Don't Like?
Share Quote... |
| Book Quote |
Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else
Chris Rock | Similar | Like or Don't Like?
Share Quote... |
| Book Quote |
Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollars, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.
Chris Rock | Similar | Like or Don't Like?
Share Quote... |
| Book Quote |
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
George Carlin | Similar | Like or Don't Like?
Share Quote... |
| Book Quote |
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
George Carlin | Similar | Like or Don't Like?
Share Quote... |